Thoughts are Vapor

518. Expect no sympathy for a hangover. And give none.

(Source: rulesformyunbornson)

The Inevitable New Year’s Resolutions’ list

Because I can, and I will.

I actually loathe New Year’s resolutions.  Why?  Because they are doomed to fail, because people have such incredibly high expectations for themselves, and such lack of reality, that it simply goes beyond rational thought to think they will work…

Unless they are completely straightforward and realistic, or so completely vague that you really didn’t change anything.

I like to focus on accomplishments…or at least I pretend to.  On the last day of 2010, I sat waiting for my then boyfriend to come pick me up for a house party, thinking on everything I wanted in the year to come, and knowing it would be difficult to do all of it, but hell, I was going to try.

yeah, thanks Homer, I appreciate that one…

On that list included some things that never happened; like quitting smoking and losing the weight I wanted to, but it wasn’t a complete bust…

I had managed to do a lot.

First, I read more.  That might have had a lot to do with the fact that I still had yet to hook up my wii to the wireless network in my apartment so I could enjoy hours upon hours of useless entertainment via netflix insta-crack, but I read oodles of novels.  From finishing Suzanne Collins’ “Mockingjay” to embarking on the quest to find the ‘Lost Symbol’ with Dan Brown, and finally seeing what all of the fuss was about with “Game of Thrones”  I was entrenched in creative worlds, thrillers and great fiction, enough to remind myself why I do what I do.

Second, and i think this can be filed under “When you ask the universe/god/buddha/Allah for something, they’ll give it to you,” folder.  My horrible, cubical prison of a job vanished in November.  While it was a blow at the time, (and anyone who’s slaved in the emotional vacuum that is a law firm can tell you, it’s no picnic being there. It’s also no fun trying to defend your office when it’s on the cover of every local paper and in the New York Times because some asshat decided to dress up like a homeless person we evicted, but at least my conscious was clear.) I picked myself up by the bootstraps…(who actually has bootstraps anymore, and where the hell do they hook onto?) and found a new, albeit, temporary job.

And I liked it.  I woke up every morning no longer wanting to gauge my eyes out with a pencil, or hoping the air ducts in the office would emit some strange chemical to just make me instantly happy.  I WAS happy.  Despite the lack of a love life (the new boyfriend, who wasn’t even around for long enough to make any dent in this blog seemed to run away like a scared little boy the second I found out the firm was closing and i was going to lose my job.) or a working vehicle (which hit a snag a week after that I’m still trying to fix) I felt better than I had in FOUR YEARS!

That, my friends, is a long time to feel like shit every morning…

Third, and I consider this my best accomplishment; I went out and wrote.  I got off my ass, got a freelance job, and wrote about concert after concert in my area, conducted interviews of local bands, brushed up on reviewing new albums and did it daily, without fail.  Did I make a lot of money, hell no!  After four months, I believe I made enough money to fill my gas tank, one time, but I did it.  I worked as a writer.  I honed my craft.  It sits on my resume (both the writing one, and the professional cubicle-dweller one) as a testament to my strengths.

So, if you’ve followed this long enough, (and believe me, while writing this I stopped, got up, got a cup of coffee, cleaned the bathroom and played a game of zuma blitz on facebook, so I don’t blame you if you didn’t)  what’s the point?

I’m not making resolutions this year, I’m just going to do the following, and hope it flipping works:

1.  make a new writer’s website- with my “pen name” linking back to this blog,( so I guess that means I’m back?) 

2. Find an editor/friend to read the novels so I can get things completed squared away.

3. Publish on Amazon and sell the bejesus out of them…or not, who knows how that is going to go, really…

4. Organize the rest of my novel ideas and see which one I want to work on in the summer once the top three are done.

5.  Attend more readings at the local bookstore and meet authors from around me that actually got book deals.

and last but not least:

5.  Plan out a NaNoWriMo month for myself…November is a crappy time to do it, I get more done in May or June writing than I ever do in November…(and since I work in retail in addition to cubical hell like jobs during the day and freelance writing, November is basically work and sleep month)

so that’s it….no lose 20 pounds, or quit smoking.  I could care less. I just don’t want another year to go by before I’m sitting in front of my friends, sipping a glass of Pinot Noir, thinking on how i still haven’t gotten there.

2012 is my year.

The majority of my favourite people are fictional characters

(Source: kyrstin)